Three People in this Romance

Yesterday I “broke” my website resulting in the revelation that I am in love with my business. Today I am dealing with the implications of breaking the website. One person it negatively impacts is my business partner. Since I love my business and am truly fond of my business partner, I thought I better read about how to make my partner happy. My research led me to read a great article called “Like Marriage, Business Takes Work” printed in the New York Times. I have never thought of my business as a romance until yesterday . Today I learned that I am not only in love but I am married.

In the article the author suggests that business partnerships are like marriages in many ways. Like marriages business partnerships often fail. So if my business partnership is like a marriage lets see what Dr. Phil says about a healthy marriage does it relate to a business partner? According to Dr. Phil:

You get what you give. When you give better, you get better. This point seems to fit! When working with my business partner the better her ideas the better our conversation and the better outcomes we have in our business and of course the converse is true!

•If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation. Ahh, Dr. Phil you are so right! In the trials of our start-up, a loss for one of us is a loss for both of us!

Forget whether you’re right or wrong. The question is: Is what you’re doing working or not working? Again Dr. Phil I think this is spot on for a business partnership. You should focus on your goal and work to get there.

There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it’s not working and be honest when it needs fixing. In the New York Times article they state that most partnerships fail because of real business problems not interpersonal problems. The danger to the relationship lies when the real business problem causes communication break downs.

Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. Embrace the change and know that it takes work. Not sure about this point. Although it seems to address when work goes from the fun inventive part to the day-to-day routine part.

You don’t fix things by fixing your partner. Agreed. Just like in marriage we should not try to change our business partner. Luckily for me my business partner does not need any changing!

Intimacy is so important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world. Okay, this point might be a stretch when it comes to a business partnership however when you are working on someone’s dream business it is pretty intimate.

Dr.Phil’s next three points I will examine together.

  • You don’t necessarily solve problems. You learn how to manage them.
  • Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder.
  • You teach people how to treat you. You can renegotiate the rules.

The last three points I will address as one. My take-away for entrepreneurs is that we need to treat our business partners well. We must communicate, communicate, communicate!

I cannot help but recall this Bible verse from my days in Sunday School:

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

I am glad I have a business partner and will work hard to make my business partner happy and our business flourish!


Love and Business

Move fast and break things. Unless you are breaking stuff, you are not moving fast enough. ~Mark Zuckerberg

This quote leapt off the page for me because last night I broke my website…well, at least the homepage. I found Mark’s quote reassuring as I wait for my webmaster to contact me with the fix for my missing home page.

After reading and fixating on this quote on Valentine’s Day of all days, I realize I might be in love with my business! Read more and see what you think?

According to “love experts” you know you are in love when:

1. When, at the beginning of the day, you are already filled with thoughts of the other person: what he/she is doing, how he/she looks. I woke up this morning with the very first thought on my mind did the webmaster fix my website? will I see my beloved home page again?

2. You become selfless. And you start thinking more about what would be good for the other person, than what would be good for you. I have a ski trip scheduled for the holiday weekend. I had to give up a speaking engagement to go on the trip. I found myself wanting to cancel my trip to stay home and be with my budding new elearning site.

3. You start to think of how it would be to be with this person forever… and you relish that dream or feeling. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together is not seen as being stuck with another person, but is considered to be a very wonderful idea. Recently on a daily walk with a friend she expressed she is having trouble deciding what to do in her fifties. I told her she needed to find her passion and her calling…like I had.

4. Even if there are other people who are more beautiful or attractive, you still choose to be with this person. This means your commitment to this person is absolute. You have fully and undeniably decided to be with only him/her no matter what. It is not only love, but also devotion. I was approached recently about taking a six plus figure job at a well known corporation. I did not even entertain the idea.

5. There is passion and fireworks, even after the infatuation period of six months. If you have been together for such a long time now, but aren’t bored out of your minds yet and can still feel the fire burning – simply because you keep it burning (and this requires dedication and effort), is a clear indication that love is still shared between two people. I have had my own business since 1999. Sure it has grown and evolved. Building the new e-learning website has added a new passion and a new sense of purpose. I can not imagine doing anything else.

6. There is a desire to understand each other, even at the biggest of arguments. You continue to communicate openly and do not harshly judge each other. You accept each other’s faults and shortcomings. Last night I was ready to throw my computer against the wall but instead I stayed up late trying to understand Joomla.. the software that supports my website.

So I don’t know:  is it love or just business?

Are any of you out there in love with your business?