Why is so darn easy to focus on what we lack or don’t have or can’t do, but so easy to overlook all the positive elements we have and can offer to others?
We see possibilities in others, but do we ever dream of the possibilities within ourselves? ~Unknown
I was speaking with a client who spent several minutes bemoaning (and berating) her inability to prepare a pivot table in Excel, comparing herself to a colleague who could “whip up a pivot table in his sleep.”
“Does your job require that you prepare Excel pivot tables, ” I asked.
“Is preparing pivot tables part of your colleague’s job duties?”
“Absolutely. He’s our compensation director and has to do lots of analysis.”
“Does your colleague have your ability to craft compelling marketing messages?”
“No way,” she chuckled. “He can hardly write an understandable email message!”
What Diane missed was her own fabulocity factor - the unique abilities that you bring to the table. Many people go through life being hard on themselves, thinking and/or feeling that they’ve fallen short in too many ways. While it’s true there are always things we could do better, it’s equally true that each one of us brings our own special gifts and talents that we should honor and appreciate more.
Positive self-esteem is the immune system of the spirit, helping an individual face life problems and bounce back from adversity. ~Nathaniel Branden
Too often we don’t inventory our special gifts and talents because we describe ourselves as just ordinary. Start today with an exercise to increase your confidence: inventory all the special talents and gifts you already have. Write your list on a lovely sheet of paper or bookmark it. When you’re feeling inadequate, reread your list. Remind yourself of all you have and can do. Glory in your fabulocity.*
“Mindfulness means noticing new things and drawing new conclusions, ” says professor of psychology Ellen Langer and author of On Becoming an Artist: Reinventing Yourself through Mindful Creativity. “It doesn’t matter whether what you notice is smart or silly because the process of actively drawing new distinctions produces that feeling of engagement we all seek. It’s much more available than you realize: all you need to do is actually notice new things. More than 30 years of research has shown that mindfulness is figuratively and literally enlivening.”
Being mindful of your fabulocity* isn’t bragging – it’s acknowledging and recognizing that you’re special.
*Kudos to my dear friend, Taide Alvarez, for inventing this fabulous word and letting me use it!