We were two-thirds of the way through a workshop on stepping into one’s power with confidence and grace when she took the floor to share her epiphany. She described a personal weakness that had haunted her for years, something she was peripherally aware of yet firmly believed had no impact on her life or career.
She told the hushed room how — just a few moments ago — she suddenly understood how this weakness had indeed played a major role in how she held herself back.
She radiated joy. Understanding. Self-awareness. The strength of vulnerability.
Are you strong enough, courageous enough, to be vulnerable?
We chase perfection. Wear ourselves out keeping up appearances. Faking it until we make it. Are you ready to jump off the hamster wheel and admit your soft spots?
1. Acknowledge that sometimes the best answer is “I don’t know.” The world is awash with data, statistics, references, resources, etc.. Keeping up is impossible. It’s a sign of strength to say you don’t have the answer but will get one.
2. Admit to something you’re not good at. A gal pal recently teased her colleague Karen about the plain vanilla formatted Excel spreadsheet she had shared with the group. Karen ‘fessed up that going beyond the basics in Excel was way beyond her skills, and my pal generously offered her help. Karen could have covered up her lack of knowledge with a flimsy excuse that she didn’t take the time to make the document look nice, but how untrue and hollow that would have been. Now the two of them have the opportunity to learn and share together.
3. Confess to what you don’t like. If long emails, endless meetings or coffee gatherings aren’t your thing, say so and offer an alternative. Don’t suffer in silent resentment, tactfully speak up.
4. Share you scares you. Driving across bridges scares the beejeebers out of me. It would take a crowbar to pry my fingers off the steering wheel. At first I was hesitant to tell my passengers of my fears, afraid they would think me weak and silly. Now I warn those in the car with me that they’ll see me clutch the steering wheel, stare straight ahead and not breathe until we’re safely across. No one thinks less of me, although I do get teased about why I keep moving to cities with lots of bridges.
5. Shine a light on what is dark or goes bump in the night for you. Nearly ten years ago, a boss described me as Aunt Polly; and his words troubled me for years. I immediately got the chauvinistic overtones but there was something more to it that I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t until I shared how his words were velcro’d into my mind that the answers came. I had to be weak before I could be strong.
Are you ready to get your vulnerability on?
Image courtesy of Let’s Graph